I am failing my "writing the guide mission"
Yes I lost tons of weight, nope I haven't spent any time on the site.

It is today march 04, 2013 and from that day in the past I have lost 20 kilos. During this past winter I swam maybe 15 times in the sea, who knows what that effort burns in calories, I am still heavy and fat but fairly fit, I can now do 30 miles on the mountain bike carrying 10kgs of shopping and it takes me about 3 hours. (Btw here's one year ahead than this post, to march 2014)

I kind of stopped my mission a few times and am now not losing weight as fast as I have been during the mission, but life is varied and I am only a human and not that perfect either. I have stopped my mission except for the fact that I am still eating uninteresting food and so I won't overeat. And I only drink water. And I still travel everywhere on the MTB so these things alone are enough to be considered a "mission".

I am supposed to write my progress on here and I did keep some notes but they are rough notes and every time I go back to them to edit them so that I can then enter them on this site.. I stop and I won't go on.

Maybe I am not a writer, maybe deep down I know that many people don't really care about no getting fit method, they want the magic pill and can't waste their time reading my waffle, so these negative thoughts effectively stop me from writing, maybe I am too egoistic, maybe the distance in mind set between the obese pill seeking American person and my rough notes is just too great for me to sit down and try to gap it.

Yes the obese wants to lose weight, and yes I want to help... yet in between there's a great sea and this great sea has strong currents that take my mind and my time away. And he can't read more than half a page of my rant anyway, so who cares about spending my time writing for the obese. This is how I feel anyway, I see this site's stats and that's what I see. People take a look, and bugger off after about 15 seconds.

This stops me from wanting to waste time on them and makes me want to spend time on myself instead. Can you blame me?It is the same with the giving up smoking guide. I started writing it but I am just not good at going back onto myself, looking at the path I traveled with a torch light looking for the steps I took and then explaining them to people, who might not even understand me anyway.

When giving up smoking, I am not relaxed enough to write down my feelings and when given up, I can't be bothered enough to dissect it all and write it down.

People don't care anyway.. they know they should but they don't and yes many people give up smoking without reading any guides, they go cold turkey and give up..this sounds like I am giving up the guides, I am NOT giving up the writing about giving up smoking because it is just tons of tiny things to know and I do have some rough pages written.. so one day I'll get to it but right now, a fair amount of time has passed since I was supposed to add something to this guide so this morning I sat down here and wrote this, which is something new and feeds the big Google monster that's always craving for new content so here's the new content.

Right now I am just about to embark into yet another mission, a water fast, and here's hoping that I'll be strong enough to make it last more than last one!

till the next...
Here's the update to March 2014